Grayson, my sister's four-year-old son, is very particular. She has told me this... but it really didn't click with me until this afternoon. Grayson wanted to go outside an play with the rest of the kids and it was about 12 degrees. He wouldn't wear a face mask... so out he went...
...and in he came within five minutes.
Grayson: Mom. Muh-why face is co-ed.
Yaso: Well, we told you that would happen Grayson. You have to wear the face mask.
So, Yaso proceeds to put the face mask on Grayson... without asking him first. WHICH... I had been clearly told on several occasions by Yaso herself, NEVER to do. You don't just put stuff on Grayson without asking his permission first.
She puts the face mask on him.
Kinda like a teapot whistle that starts off with a soft whistle and gets louder and louder... that is how I would best describe Grayson's reaction to the face mask.
Grayson: Muhhhhhhhmoooooooooooooooommmmmmmm! Muuuuuhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmyyyyyyy!
I doe wike dis! I doe wike dis on muh-why facccccceeeeeeeee! Ehssss hai-weeeeee!
Pause (big breath in)
Grayson: I doe wike dis hai-wee ting on muh-why faaaaaaaacccccceeeeeee!
Yaso turns to look at me. It's a look that says, "Oh my God. Do you see what I am dealing with?" I, of course, offer her a sympathetic look... and then proceed to cover my mouth with my hand so I don't laugh out loud.
Interestingly enough -- I totally got what Grayson meant by a hairy face mask. It was one of those super fuzzy ones made of yarn... that had been worn so much... it kinda looked hairy. I'm sure it felt hairy.
Me: Grayson! Just hang on there lil' fella... Chino is going to find you a non-hairy face mask.
Yaso: Great. See Grayson? Auntie Chino has another face mask that isn't hairy.
Me: Yup! (I run into the mudroom and find one right away). Right here. See? (I show it to him). See? This one isn't hairy at all! It's very soft.
I proceed to put it on his head.
Yaso: Don't just put it on... he won't like it. You'd better ask.
sigh
Me: Grayson? Can Chino put the mask on your face? It isn't hairy. I promise.
Grayson: Uhmmmm. Oh-kway Chino. But I want dis off. (he takes off his hat).
Me: May I put it on now?
Grayson: Sure.
I put the face mask on his head and adjust it.
Me: There! What do you think?
pause
He looks up and over to the left.
Grayson: Uhmmm..... I do not want dis on my face. I want dis off my face Chino.
Okay. Apparently not un-hairy enough.
Me: Okay Grayson - but it will keep your face very warm. You'll be able to stay outside and play with the boys for a long time.
Grayson: Uhmmm.... no Auntie Chino. I do not want dis on my face.
Me: Okay. (I take it off and put it back into the mudroom).
At this point, the conversation has already moved onto the next item:
Grayson: (talking to his mother). I told you I didn't wont choo to bwing deez gwobs.
Yaso: I told you you have to wear the ugly gloves because the nice gloves are not warm enough for Fargo.
Grayson: But I told you I didn't wont deez gwobs.
Yaso: That's all I got hon. What do you want to do.
Grayson: Mommmmmyyyyy will you gib me new gwobs? Peezzz. I need new gwobssss!
pause
Yaso: (sigh). Hang on Grayson. Mommy needs a drink
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Turtles turtles everywhere...
My sister is in town for the week with her two kids, visiting from Florida. She's 2 and a half years younger than me... and smart in ways that I am not. She's got an undergrad degree in mechanical engineering, she went to Duke and got a master's in biomechanical engineering...
She's smart.
But sometimes she says some really interesting things.
Like today...
She and I took her two kids out for lunch at Culver's (well known for its fabulous ice cream). After our burgers, the two of us shared a Turtle Sundae:
Yaso: Huh. What kind of nuts are in this?
Me: Pecans.
Yaso: Ah... this must be where they came up with the name for Turtle Bars.
pause
Me: What?
pause
Yaso: Turtle Bars! They have pecans too. Turtle Bars must get their name from the Turtle Sundae.
What?
Me: What?
Yaso: Turtle Bars. You've had Turtle Bars haven't you? Turtle Bars must get their name from Turtle Sundaes.
She is kidding, right?
Me: So, you're saying that Turtle Bars got their name from Turtle Sundaes. Did I get that right?
Yaso: Yea!
Wow. Wow. Just wow.
Me: Yaso!
Yaso: What?!
Here we go...
Me: (I say this in my first-grade teacher voice) Oooooooorrrrrrr... the Turtle Sundae gets its name from the Turtle Bar.
pause
Yaso: What?
Me: Seriously Yaso?
Yaso: What!
Me: Well, why do you think the bar was named after the sundae? I mean... couldn't the sundae have been named after the bar?
longer pause
Yaso: Oh. I guess I hadn't thought of it that way.
pause
Yaso: Wow. Huh.
pause
Yaso: Wow. That was kinda dumb.
I put my head down on the booth because I am laughing... then she starts laughing...
Yaso: So we are answering the question of which came first... the Turtle Sundae or the Turtle Bar?
pause
Yaso: Come to think of it... we also have to consider the Turtle Cheescake, the Turtle Pie, Turtle Clusters...
There's that Duke degree kicking into gear!
She's smart.
But sometimes she says some really interesting things.
Like today...
She and I took her two kids out for lunch at Culver's (well known for its fabulous ice cream). After our burgers, the two of us shared a Turtle Sundae:
Yaso: Huh. What kind of nuts are in this?
Me: Pecans.
Yaso: Ah... this must be where they came up with the name for Turtle Bars.
pause
Me: What?
pause
Yaso: Turtle Bars! They have pecans too. Turtle Bars must get their name from the Turtle Sundae.
What?
Me: What?
Yaso: Turtle Bars. You've had Turtle Bars haven't you? Turtle Bars must get their name from Turtle Sundaes.
She is kidding, right?
Me: So, you're saying that Turtle Bars got their name from Turtle Sundaes. Did I get that right?
Yaso: Yea!
Wow. Wow. Just wow.
Me: Yaso!
Yaso: What?!
Here we go...
Me: (I say this in my first-grade teacher voice) Oooooooorrrrrrr... the Turtle Sundae gets its name from the Turtle Bar.
pause
Yaso: What?
Me: Seriously Yaso?
Yaso: What!
Me: Well, why do you think the bar was named after the sundae? I mean... couldn't the sundae have been named after the bar?
longer pause
Yaso: Oh. I guess I hadn't thought of it that way.
pause
Yaso: Wow. Huh.
pause
Yaso: Wow. That was kinda dumb.
I put my head down on the booth because I am laughing... then she starts laughing...
Yaso: So we are answering the question of which came first... the Turtle Sundae or the Turtle Bar?
pause
Yaso: Come to think of it... we also have to consider the Turtle Cheescake, the Turtle Pie, Turtle Clusters...
There's that Duke degree kicking into gear!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
3 planes or 1?
Early in the morning yesterday, my sister Yaso called me on Skype frantic.
Yaso: Please talk to Grayson will you? He said that you told him it only took one plane to come to Fargo. He will not listen to me that we need to take three planes.
Grayson is four.
Me: Uhm... I don't remember telling him that. Is this important?
Yaso: Yes. You need to tell him. He went to bed last night very angry and insistent that it only takes one plane. First thing when he woke up this morning was, "Chino said it only takes one plane." He is going to give me a lot of trouble if you don't tell him.
What was I thinking? Grayson is four - of course this is important.
Me: Okay. Sure. I'll talk to him.
She calls him over to the computer.
Me: Hi Grayson! Are you so excited to come to Fargo?!
Grayson: Yes. And it will only take one plane.
Wow - he IS stuck on that, isn't he?
Me: Yeah... well.. Grayson... the thing is, Chino made a mistake. It will take three planes to come to Fargo.
pause
Grayson: Three?
Grayson tilts his head slightly to the left and looks over to the right. This is a typical "look" for Grayson. A look that sorta says... "Uh. I don't like that answer."
Me: Yes Grayson. Auntie Chino made a mistake. It takes three planes. Because Fargo is far away.
pause
Grayson: But you told me one plane.
He head is still tilted left, eyes to right... and now his pointy finger is up.
This can't be good.
Me: Yes. I know. I told you one. But I didn't know it was three.
pause
Grayson: So three planes take us to Fargo?
Me: Yes. Three planes will bring you to Fargo.
pause
Grayson: So... where do four planes take me?
I had to think for a second...
Me: Bismarck.
Grayson: How about five planes?
Me: Montana.
Grayson: How about 10 planes Chino?
I am now apparently Grayson's travel agent.
Me: I think Hawaii.... But the important thing is that in three planes, you will be in Fargo. Okay?
pause
Finger goes down, eyes go down, head returns to upright position.
Still no verbal confirmation.
Me: Grayson? Do you still love Auntie Chino even though I told you one plane?
His eyes go up again.. and he smirks.
Grayson: Yes.
Me: Okay! Well... you need to get ready then! The first plane is leaving soon! You need to get ready to come to Fargo!
Grayson: Okay!
He runs off... and as I hear his feet on the stairs he yells out:
Grayson: I still woh-ve you Chinoooooo!
Yaso: Please talk to Grayson will you? He said that you told him it only took one plane to come to Fargo. He will not listen to me that we need to take three planes.
Grayson is four.
Me: Uhm... I don't remember telling him that. Is this important?
Yaso: Yes. You need to tell him. He went to bed last night very angry and insistent that it only takes one plane. First thing when he woke up this morning was, "Chino said it only takes one plane." He is going to give me a lot of trouble if you don't tell him.
What was I thinking? Grayson is four - of course this is important.
Me: Okay. Sure. I'll talk to him.
She calls him over to the computer.
Me: Hi Grayson! Are you so excited to come to Fargo?!
Grayson: Yes. And it will only take one plane.
Wow - he IS stuck on that, isn't he?
Me: Yeah... well.. Grayson... the thing is, Chino made a mistake. It will take three planes to come to Fargo.
pause
Grayson: Three?
Grayson tilts his head slightly to the left and looks over to the right. This is a typical "look" for Grayson. A look that sorta says... "Uh. I don't like that answer."
Me: Yes Grayson. Auntie Chino made a mistake. It takes three planes. Because Fargo is far away.
pause
Grayson: But you told me one plane.
He head is still tilted left, eyes to right... and now his pointy finger is up.
This can't be good.
Me: Yes. I know. I told you one. But I didn't know it was three.
pause
Grayson: So three planes take us to Fargo?
Me: Yes. Three planes will bring you to Fargo.
pause
Grayson: So... where do four planes take me?
I had to think for a second...
Me: Bismarck.
Grayson: How about five planes?
Me: Montana.
Grayson: How about 10 planes Chino?
I am now apparently Grayson's travel agent.
Me: I think Hawaii.... But the important thing is that in three planes, you will be in Fargo. Okay?
pause
Finger goes down, eyes go down, head returns to upright position.
Still no verbal confirmation.
Me: Grayson? Do you still love Auntie Chino even though I told you one plane?
His eyes go up again.. and he smirks.
Grayson: Yes.
Me: Okay! Well... you need to get ready then! The first plane is leaving soon! You need to get ready to come to Fargo!
Grayson: Okay!
He runs off... and as I hear his feet on the stairs he yells out:
Grayson: I still woh-ve you Chinoooooo!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Going to Chinos!
My sister, and her kids -- Grayson, 4, and Anya, 9 -- are coming to spend a week with us starting Dec. 26.
They have been so excited about coming to Fargo to stay with their Auntie Chino -- which as you can just about imagine doesn't go over well with my mom.
Note: Chino - that's me.
My sister told me this morning that she was skyping with my mother when Grayson runs in.
My mom: Grayyyysooon! Are you excited to come see me?
Grayson: Yes! I am going to Chinos!
They have been so excited about coming to Fargo to stay with their Auntie Chino -- which as you can just about imagine doesn't go over well with my mom.
Note: Chino - that's me.
My sister told me this morning that she was skyping with my mother when Grayson runs in.
My mom: Grayyyysooon! Are you excited to come see me?
Grayson: Yes! I am going to Chinos!
12 hours early
It is 5:30 am...
I am in a state of complete relaxation... and about to drift off again for a few more winks... when lo and behold... I hear someone in the room... someone besides my husband that is.
Ethan: (in a loud whisper)... Dad!
Ah. Ethan. Gotta love that kid. On Monday he woke me up from a lovely dream by turning on the lights in our bedroom and announcing: "I gotta find some matching socks!"
pause
Ethan: Dad.
Paul: (groans) Whhhaaaat?
Ethan: Dad. I want to go downstairs.
Paul: (still groaning). Then go downstairs.
Ethan: Dad. I want you to come with me.
Paul: I'm not coming with you.
Ethan: But dad. It's time to open presents.
pause
Paul: (big sigh). Ethan. It is not time to open presents. We will open them at night.
Ethan: (beings to whine) But Daaaaaaaaddddd....
Paul: Ethan. Mom and dad do not get up before 6 am.
Well - that's not exactly true because Paul is usually up and at 'em by 5 am... but today he has off from work...
Ethan: (whining) Noooooo. It is time to open presents now.
Paul: (now awake and not groaning... headed towards barking). Ethan. Do not whine. We will open presents tonight. We do not get up before 6 am. Now go back to bed so you are not crabby all day.
Huh. Impressive summary for a guy who just woke up.
Ethan shuffles off.
A couple minutes go by... and I start drifting off to sleep again.
And...
Paul gets up to go downstairs.
I am in a state of complete relaxation... and about to drift off again for a few more winks... when lo and behold... I hear someone in the room... someone besides my husband that is.
Ethan: (in a loud whisper)... Dad!
Ah. Ethan. Gotta love that kid. On Monday he woke me up from a lovely dream by turning on the lights in our bedroom and announcing: "I gotta find some matching socks!"
pause
Ethan: Dad.
Paul: (groans) Whhhaaaat?
Ethan: Dad. I want to go downstairs.
Paul: (still groaning). Then go downstairs.
Ethan: Dad. I want you to come with me.
Paul: I'm not coming with you.
Ethan: But dad. It's time to open presents.
pause
Paul: (big sigh). Ethan. It is not time to open presents. We will open them at night.
Ethan: (beings to whine) But Daaaaaaaaddddd....
Paul: Ethan. Mom and dad do not get up before 6 am.
Well - that's not exactly true because Paul is usually up and at 'em by 5 am... but today he has off from work...
Ethan: (whining) Noooooo. It is time to open presents now.
Paul: (now awake and not groaning... headed towards barking). Ethan. Do not whine. We will open presents tonight. We do not get up before 6 am. Now go back to bed so you are not crabby all day.
Huh. Impressive summary for a guy who just woke up.
Ethan shuffles off.
A couple minutes go by... and I start drifting off to sleep again.
And...
Paul gets up to go downstairs.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Christmas Detour
Oh the fun of living in the upper midwest.
The worst snowstorm in a decade is moving towards us faster than expected. It's already snowing... we could get up to 20 inches...
And my office phone and cell phone are ringing off the hook with my children calling, crying and pleading. (Well, not the 14-year-old). We aren't going to Cavalier, ND to spend Christmas with the grandparents and the cousins.
sigh
It is so hard to disappoint them. I hate it. If Paul and I thought we had a decent chance of driving three hours north on decent roads, we'd do it. But even us hardy, experienced North Dakota drivers have our limits. There is absolutely nothing worse than being caught on the open highway in a white out. Scariest damn thing ever. I have been in that situation once and I didn't think I would make it out alive.
I was a new reporter working in Grand Forks, ND... I was headed home to Brookings, SD, for Christmas - actually. Four hour drive straight south on an interstate. I left after work so it was dusk. And I drove right into a blizzard. I couldn't see a road, I couldn't see a car, I could barely see the own hood of my car. I had no idea where I was driving or if I was even driving straight. I finally came to a bridge... and pulled over underneath it, praying no one would come barreling at me from behind. Thank God I didn't get stuck out there overnight. And... no cells phones way back then.
But the kids don't understand. All they know is that the trip they have been looking forward to for two months is off.
I literally had one kid on my cell and one on my office phone at the same time...
Oh! Look at this - another one calling me. Again.
brb
****
Done...
So - there you go. We've made the right decision, but I am not looking forward to coming home tonight to three very sad boys...
****
Update at 7:35 pm...
Seven phone calls to my cell phone later -- I got home to a group of boys who had accepted the fact that we were not going to Cavalier for Christmas. I suggested to Paul that we take them out to eat, since they had been home all day... in hopes of perking them up a bit.
They were all doing pretty well. Zach, of course, didn't have a problem at all with either staying or going... but he's older. Ethan apparently, was off in la la land during all the commotion during the day. At dinner, when it came up again...
Ethan: WHAT! We are not going to Cavalier?!
Everyone looks at him.
Zach: Where have you been?
Ethan: Oooooohhhh... Why??!
Evan: Because it is too snowy out and the driving is bad.
Ethan: Oh.
And that was that for Ethan. My easy going child. Thank God I have one.
During dinner, Evan began asking questions about "Santa's gifts" - which he knows are always a little better than Christmas Eve gifts. Santa gifts are ones that mom and dad would NEVER get.
Evan: Soooo... can you tell me how many gifts we are getting from Santa?
Zayd: Hey! How would she know.
Zayd and I lock eyes for about 20 seconds. He found out last year about Santa and the Easter Bunny. He was angry.
Zayd: Oh. Yeah.
Evan: Are we all getting one big gift or what?
Me: I don't know.
Evan: You know.
Me: I don't know.
Evan: Come on... please?
I keep eating and don't respond.
Evan: Well... can you tell me if I'll like it? Is it big or little?
Paul: Evan. Santa is dealing with a recession. There won't be as many gifts this year.
Evan: A recession?
Me: Yeah. The economy isn't doing well. Lots of people have lost their jobs.
Evan: Yeah, but you and dad still have money. You both have jobs.
Me: Yes... but we are trying to be careful.
Evan: Hmmm... okay.
Me: I think you'll like your Christmas Eve presents better than your Christmas ones...
Evan: Oh. Okay.
pause
Evan: Well... that's okay. It's the thought that counts, right?
Me: Yes.
After we got home.... I went up to our bedroom and Evan came in...
Evan: I feel bad.
Me: Why?
Evan: About the recession. I feel bad that you and dad are spending money on presents when there is a recession. You should be saving your money.
Me: Oh my... Evan. It's fine. We are fine. It's good we are spending money - it helps when people spend money.
Evan: Oh. Well... I still feel bad. I didn't know there was a recession.
pause
He rests his arms on the bed and lingers.
Evan: Uhm... mom?
Me: Yes?
Evan: I was wondering if any of the presents I got are really big. Like something I really want. I mean, not that it matters, I know. I was just wondering.
Me: I don't know.
Evan: And I know it doesn't matter how big it is. I was just wondering if you could give me a hint at one of the presents.
Me: I don't know.
Evan: Come on mom... (he tries a charming smile)... you know. Just a little tiny hint?
Me: I don't know.
Evan: Just one hint. Just one. Like... do I need a pencil to use it? Do I play with it? Do I need to roll a dice?
Me: I don't know.
Evan: Mom. Please.
Me: I don't know.
Evan: (sigh) Okay. I love you. And it doesn't matter how big the gift is... or if I really want it. I know it is the thought that counts.
Me: I know you know.
But... I also know its really cool when you get a great big gift that you really really wanted.
The worst snowstorm in a decade is moving towards us faster than expected. It's already snowing... we could get up to 20 inches...
And my office phone and cell phone are ringing off the hook with my children calling, crying and pleading. (Well, not the 14-year-old). We aren't going to Cavalier, ND to spend Christmas with the grandparents and the cousins.
sigh
It is so hard to disappoint them. I hate it. If Paul and I thought we had a decent chance of driving three hours north on decent roads, we'd do it. But even us hardy, experienced North Dakota drivers have our limits. There is absolutely nothing worse than being caught on the open highway in a white out. Scariest damn thing ever. I have been in that situation once and I didn't think I would make it out alive.
I was a new reporter working in Grand Forks, ND... I was headed home to Brookings, SD, for Christmas - actually. Four hour drive straight south on an interstate. I left after work so it was dusk. And I drove right into a blizzard. I couldn't see a road, I couldn't see a car, I could barely see the own hood of my car. I had no idea where I was driving or if I was even driving straight. I finally came to a bridge... and pulled over underneath it, praying no one would come barreling at me from behind. Thank God I didn't get stuck out there overnight. And... no cells phones way back then.
But the kids don't understand. All they know is that the trip they have been looking forward to for two months is off.
I literally had one kid on my cell and one on my office phone at the same time...
Oh! Look at this - another one calling me. Again.
brb
****
Done...
So - there you go. We've made the right decision, but I am not looking forward to coming home tonight to three very sad boys...
****
Update at 7:35 pm...
Seven phone calls to my cell phone later -- I got home to a group of boys who had accepted the fact that we were not going to Cavalier for Christmas. I suggested to Paul that we take them out to eat, since they had been home all day... in hopes of perking them up a bit.
They were all doing pretty well. Zach, of course, didn't have a problem at all with either staying or going... but he's older. Ethan apparently, was off in la la land during all the commotion during the day. At dinner, when it came up again...
Ethan: WHAT! We are not going to Cavalier?!
Everyone looks at him.
Zach: Where have you been?
Ethan: Oooooohhhh... Why??!
Evan: Because it is too snowy out and the driving is bad.
Ethan: Oh.
And that was that for Ethan. My easy going child. Thank God I have one.
During dinner, Evan began asking questions about "Santa's gifts" - which he knows are always a little better than Christmas Eve gifts. Santa gifts are ones that mom and dad would NEVER get.
Evan: Soooo... can you tell me how many gifts we are getting from Santa?
Zayd: Hey! How would she know.
Zayd and I lock eyes for about 20 seconds. He found out last year about Santa and the Easter Bunny. He was angry.
Zayd: Oh. Yeah.
Evan: Are we all getting one big gift or what?
Me: I don't know.
Evan: You know.
Me: I don't know.
Evan: Come on... please?
I keep eating and don't respond.
Evan: Well... can you tell me if I'll like it? Is it big or little?
Paul: Evan. Santa is dealing with a recession. There won't be as many gifts this year.
Evan: A recession?
Me: Yeah. The economy isn't doing well. Lots of people have lost their jobs.
Evan: Yeah, but you and dad still have money. You both have jobs.
Me: Yes... but we are trying to be careful.
Evan: Hmmm... okay.
Me: I think you'll like your Christmas Eve presents better than your Christmas ones...
Evan: Oh. Okay.
pause
Evan: Well... that's okay. It's the thought that counts, right?
Me: Yes.
After we got home.... I went up to our bedroom and Evan came in...
Evan: I feel bad.
Me: Why?
Evan: About the recession. I feel bad that you and dad are spending money on presents when there is a recession. You should be saving your money.
Me: Oh my... Evan. It's fine. We are fine. It's good we are spending money - it helps when people spend money.
Evan: Oh. Well... I still feel bad. I didn't know there was a recession.
pause
He rests his arms on the bed and lingers.
Evan: Uhm... mom?
Me: Yes?
Evan: I was wondering if any of the presents I got are really big. Like something I really want. I mean, not that it matters, I know. I was just wondering.
Me: I don't know.
Evan: And I know it doesn't matter how big it is. I was just wondering if you could give me a hint at one of the presents.
Me: I don't know.
Evan: Come on mom... (he tries a charming smile)... you know. Just a little tiny hint?
Me: I don't know.
Evan: Just one hint. Just one. Like... do I need a pencil to use it? Do I play with it? Do I need to roll a dice?
Me: I don't know.
Evan: Mom. Please.
Me: I don't know.
Evan: (sigh) Okay. I love you. And it doesn't matter how big the gift is... or if I really want it. I know it is the thought that counts.
Me: I know you know.
But... I also know its really cool when you get a great big gift that you really really wanted.
New boss in town
This morning, around 3 am... I had a brilliant idea.
The boys have the day off from school and are holding down the fort today - Paul and I are working.
Because of the forecast for up to 15 inches of snow tonight for the region... we may be headed to our Christmas destination tonight... which means much must get done around the house.
My idea? To leave our 9-year-old, Zayd in charge.
I am so smart.
At 3 am it occurred to me that maybe Zayd will be more amicable to helping around the house, if I give him the authority to be responsible for it. Zayd is incredibly stubborn. I can't emphasize that enough. If he doesn't want to do something... it is World War III to stick to our guns. When he was younger, he'd throw tantrums - SEVERAL a day - that would last for HOURS. HOURS. He is much better now, but he still has a temper... and he is still stubborn. And if there is anything he hates more -- it's cleaning. Particularly dirty dishes. Anyways... I think my plan will work. He'll help out this time.
Also - putting him in charge will make Evan and Zach crazy... so there are those additional perks.
This morning, before Paul and I left for work, I gave Zayd the news.
Me: Zayd? I want you to be in charge today.
His eyes grow wide.
Zayd: Meee?
Me: Yes.
Zayd: In charge?
Me: Yup. You are in charge of everything today. You da' man. If we are leaving for Cavalier soon, there is a ton that needs to get done before we leave. So, I'm going to write it all done, and I'd like you to figure out who will do what. I would like you to make sure it gets done properly. Like, the way I would do it.
He is standing up taller and a smile spreads across his face.
Zayd: Okay. What do I need to do?
Me: Let's write it all down.
I pull out a spiral notebook and start making a list.
Me: One. Everyone needs to pack. I'll list everything you need. So... 2 pairs of underwear.. clean underwear...
Zayd gives me his cute snort laugh.
Me: Three sets of warm socks, three shirts - LONG sleeved, one sweatshirt, snowpants, gloves, the warmest hats you have...
Zayd: Coats!
Me: Yup - coats. And... a couple of things for nighttime. Okay?
He nods
Me: Now you'll need to make sure Ethan has everything packed.
Zayd: Okay. I'll make sure.
Me: So... number two. Clean the kitchen. And I mean... CLEAN the kitchen. Dishes out of the dishwasher, dirty ones in, counters wiped down, clutter put away. Sparkling clean.
I continue writing down all the particulars.
Zayd: Evan will clean the kitchen. He is the best cleaner.
He is right about that.
Me: Basement. It is a pit.
Zayd: I'll do that.
Me: Okay - but I"m not talking throwing things under the couch clean... I am talking clean and organized. Your cousins will be here as soon as we get back from Cavalier - so it needs to be ready.
Zayd: Got it.
Me: Basement bathroom and main floor bathroom. Totally gross.
Zayd: Yah - there is pee everywhere.
Isn't there always?
Me: So, no cutting corners. Mirrors and counters wiped, toilet cleaned, floor wiped with Mr. Clean... new towel on towel rack.
Zayd: Check.
Me: (sigh) And... bedrooms. All bedrooms need to be cleaned - especially yours.
Zayd: (sigh) I know.
Wow. He took that really well.
Me: You really need to organize it. You've got crap under the bed, next to the bed, on the shelf of your bed. Your cousin will be sleeping in your room - so it can't be like that.
Zayd: Anya?
Me: No Grayson.
Zayd: Thank God.
Me: But, Zach and Evan's room needs to get cleaned too - because Yaso and Anya will be sleeping together in one of them.
Zayd: Okay.
Me: If you have any problems, you let me know - just call me at work, okay?
Zayd: Okay.
Me: Now Zayd... it is important to remember that good leaders don't "boss" ... they lead by example. So you need to think about how you are going to get your brothers to help you.
Zayd: I know! I know....
I organize some things in my bag, grab my coat and scarf, get my cup of coffee and Paul and I are about to go out the door...
And Zayd is studying his list. Ethan is next to him on his tip toes trying to see what he is doing. Ethan is always VERY aminacable to following instructions.
Ethan: I'll clean! I am good at cleaning!
Zayd: Uhm... you should clean the mudroom. It is messy too. And you will have to clean your side of our bedroom.
Ethan: Right. We have a line in the middle. I'll clean my side.
Me: Oh... one more thing. Zach is still responsible for watching Ethan. You make sure he watches Ethan... and you help him. Zach also needs to make sure everyone gets fed. K?
Zayd: Okay mom! (he starts writing this down).
I head out the door.
Paul drives me to work today - my car is in the shop because my dad hit it... that's another story.
As we are pulling out of the driveway...
Paul: Shoot. The garbage. It's garbage day.
Me: Okay - I'll call. .... Zayd? Someone needs to take out the garbage.
Paul: Metal handle towards to street. Make sure to put it at the end of the driveway or the city will write us a note.
Me: Metal handle towards the street - that is very important. Evan knows how to do it - ask him. K?
Zayd: Uhm... mom? How do you spell all that?
Me: Don't worry about writing it down... just ask Evan to do it now. K?
Zayd: Okay. Bye!
We pull away from the house... 30 seconds later my cell rings.
Zayd: Mom? Zach doesn't believe I am in charge.
Me: Tell him you are.
Zayd: I did. He doesn't believe me. - He is right here. You talk to him.
Zach: Helllloo?
Me: Zayd is in charge.
Zach: Why?
Me: Because.
Zach: Are you kidding me?
Me: No.
Zach: But he thinks he can tell me what to do.
Me: He can.
Zach: You are kidding me.
Me: I am not.
Zach: Why are you doing this?
Me: Because if he is in charge, then he'll work too.
pause
Zach: Fine. Then I don't have to watch any of them. Zayd can watch Ethan.
Me: Nooo... I told Zayd that he was responsible of making sure you watched Ethan.
pause
Me: And feeding everyone... You need to feed everyone.
Zach: Fine. Whatever. Bye.
He hangs up.
I turn to Paul.
Me: I really think this is a good idea. I think Zayd plays his role of victim a lot because we don't allow him to feel like he has some control over his life. I think he will be very responsible. He's not a great follower, but maybe he'll be a good leader?
Paul: Yeah. Until he throws one of his major tantrums, starts hitting and screaming at his brothers...
Yeah - this should be great.
Me: (I start laughing)... Hmmm... this should be interesting...
pause
Paul: You've created Lord of the Flies.
Me: HA!
pause
Me: Oh well!
The boys have the day off from school and are holding down the fort today - Paul and I are working.
Because of the forecast for up to 15 inches of snow tonight for the region... we may be headed to our Christmas destination tonight... which means much must get done around the house.
My idea? To leave our 9-year-old, Zayd in charge.
I am so smart.
At 3 am it occurred to me that maybe Zayd will be more amicable to helping around the house, if I give him the authority to be responsible for it. Zayd is incredibly stubborn. I can't emphasize that enough. If he doesn't want to do something... it is World War III to stick to our guns. When he was younger, he'd throw tantrums - SEVERAL a day - that would last for HOURS. HOURS. He is much better now, but he still has a temper... and he is still stubborn. And if there is anything he hates more -- it's cleaning. Particularly dirty dishes. Anyways... I think my plan will work. He'll help out this time.
Also - putting him in charge will make Evan and Zach crazy... so there are those additional perks.
This morning, before Paul and I left for work, I gave Zayd the news.
Me: Zayd? I want you to be in charge today.
His eyes grow wide.
Zayd: Meee?
Me: Yes.
Zayd: In charge?
Me: Yup. You are in charge of everything today. You da' man. If we are leaving for Cavalier soon, there is a ton that needs to get done before we leave. So, I'm going to write it all done, and I'd like you to figure out who will do what. I would like you to make sure it gets done properly. Like, the way I would do it.
He is standing up taller and a smile spreads across his face.
Zayd: Okay. What do I need to do?
Me: Let's write it all down.
I pull out a spiral notebook and start making a list.
Me: One. Everyone needs to pack. I'll list everything you need. So... 2 pairs of underwear.. clean underwear...
Zayd gives me his cute snort laugh.
Me: Three sets of warm socks, three shirts - LONG sleeved, one sweatshirt, snowpants, gloves, the warmest hats you have...
Zayd: Coats!
Me: Yup - coats. And... a couple of things for nighttime. Okay?
He nods
Me: Now you'll need to make sure Ethan has everything packed.
Zayd: Okay. I'll make sure.
Me: So... number two. Clean the kitchen. And I mean... CLEAN the kitchen. Dishes out of the dishwasher, dirty ones in, counters wiped down, clutter put away. Sparkling clean.
I continue writing down all the particulars.
Zayd: Evan will clean the kitchen. He is the best cleaner.
He is right about that.
Me: Basement. It is a pit.
Zayd: I'll do that.
Me: Okay - but I"m not talking throwing things under the couch clean... I am talking clean and organized. Your cousins will be here as soon as we get back from Cavalier - so it needs to be ready.
Zayd: Got it.
Me: Basement bathroom and main floor bathroom. Totally gross.
Zayd: Yah - there is pee everywhere.
Isn't there always?
Me: So, no cutting corners. Mirrors and counters wiped, toilet cleaned, floor wiped with Mr. Clean... new towel on towel rack.
Zayd: Check.
Me: (sigh) And... bedrooms. All bedrooms need to be cleaned - especially yours.
Zayd: (sigh) I know.
Wow. He took that really well.
Me: You really need to organize it. You've got crap under the bed, next to the bed, on the shelf of your bed. Your cousin will be sleeping in your room - so it can't be like that.
Zayd: Anya?
Me: No Grayson.
Zayd: Thank God.
Me: But, Zach and Evan's room needs to get cleaned too - because Yaso and Anya will be sleeping together in one of them.
Zayd: Okay.
Me: If you have any problems, you let me know - just call me at work, okay?
Zayd: Okay.
Me: Now Zayd... it is important to remember that good leaders don't "boss" ... they lead by example. So you need to think about how you are going to get your brothers to help you.
Zayd: I know! I know....
I organize some things in my bag, grab my coat and scarf, get my cup of coffee and Paul and I are about to go out the door...
And Zayd is studying his list. Ethan is next to him on his tip toes trying to see what he is doing. Ethan is always VERY aminacable to following instructions.
Ethan: I'll clean! I am good at cleaning!
Zayd: Uhm... you should clean the mudroom. It is messy too. And you will have to clean your side of our bedroom.
Ethan: Right. We have a line in the middle. I'll clean my side.
Me: Oh... one more thing. Zach is still responsible for watching Ethan. You make sure he watches Ethan... and you help him. Zach also needs to make sure everyone gets fed. K?
Zayd: Okay mom! (he starts writing this down).
I head out the door.
Paul drives me to work today - my car is in the shop because my dad hit it... that's another story.
As we are pulling out of the driveway...
Paul: Shoot. The garbage. It's garbage day.
Me: Okay - I'll call. .... Zayd? Someone needs to take out the garbage.
Paul: Metal handle towards to street. Make sure to put it at the end of the driveway or the city will write us a note.
Me: Metal handle towards the street - that is very important. Evan knows how to do it - ask him. K?
Zayd: Uhm... mom? How do you spell all that?
Me: Don't worry about writing it down... just ask Evan to do it now. K?
Zayd: Okay. Bye!
We pull away from the house... 30 seconds later my cell rings.
Zayd: Mom? Zach doesn't believe I am in charge.
Me: Tell him you are.
Zayd: I did. He doesn't believe me. - He is right here. You talk to him.
Zach: Helllloo?
Me: Zayd is in charge.
Zach: Why?
Me: Because.
Zach: Are you kidding me?
Me: No.
Zach: But he thinks he can tell me what to do.
Me: He can.
Zach: You are kidding me.
Me: I am not.
Zach: Why are you doing this?
Me: Because if he is in charge, then he'll work too.
pause
Zach: Fine. Then I don't have to watch any of them. Zayd can watch Ethan.
Me: Nooo... I told Zayd that he was responsible of making sure you watched Ethan.
pause
Me: And feeding everyone... You need to feed everyone.
Zach: Fine. Whatever. Bye.
He hangs up.
I turn to Paul.
Me: I really think this is a good idea. I think Zayd plays his role of victim a lot because we don't allow him to feel like he has some control over his life. I think he will be very responsible. He's not a great follower, but maybe he'll be a good leader?
Paul: Yeah. Until he throws one of his major tantrums, starts hitting and screaming at his brothers...
Yeah - this should be great.
Me: (I start laughing)... Hmmm... this should be interesting...
pause
Paul: You've created Lord of the Flies.
Me: HA!
pause
Me: Oh well!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Bras
When you are the lone woman in a house full of men, you learn to live without privacy, and to explain "all things girl."
Body parts -- or lack thereof -- tampons and bras - just to name a few.
The body part one is always fun. When I was a stay-at-home mom, I couldn't take a shower without one of the younger ones making himself comfortable in the bathroom. The conversations that would occur are terribly funny... but even I am too embarrassed to write what they said.
I can't remember how many boxes of tampons I lost because a son would find them, unwrap each of them, and pull them apart.
Oh - and bras. By the time each were four years old, they had tried them on, or wore several at once.
But I didn't realize just how intriguing bras could be until last night.
Ethan is involved in this one, in case you couldn't figure it out.
I had washed several bras and laid them out to dry in my bedroom. Each formed in perfect domes to keep their shape. Then Ethan came in...
Ethan: What are these doing?
Me: They are drying because I washed them.
I turned around to dig into another laundry basket and tackle more clothes. When I came up, Ethan had squished all my finely formed domes.
Me: Ethan! Don't do that!
Ethan: Why? They were all puffy!
Me: They are supposed to be like that. If you squish them, they'll dry all wrinkled.
Ethan looks down at them carefully.
Ethan: Why do you have to wear these?
Me: Because woman have boobs and they need to be protected.
pause
He considers this for a moment.
Ethan: But why are your bras so big?
Me: (sigh) They aren't that big.
He looks down again.
Ethan: Yeah they are.
Me: Ethan, fix the bras please.
Ethan: What am I supposed to do?
Me: Puff them back up.
Ethan goes down the assembly line and carefully pushes them back into domes.
I turn away to grab more laundry to fold. I come up. Now he is caressing the bras.
omg
Me: Ethan. What are you doing?
Ethan: They are so soft.
He is now taking his pointy finger and poking them... trying to see if I'll notice that once again, he wants to push them down.
Me: Don't even think about it Ethan.
He looks me in the eye with his charming little smile. And he pushes two down.
Me: ETHAN! I am not kidding you. Please. Really don't do that! I am going to get angry. Leave them alone. Okay?
He sighs and agrees to leave them alone.
Me: I need to go to the laundry room and get more clothes. Please don't mess with the bras, okay?
Ethan: Okay.
Who am I kidding?
About ten minutes later, I head back into the bedroom. There is a little hallway before you walk into the door, and I see Ethan's reflection in our big window. He is standing on the bed, wearing a bra and looking at himself in the mirror.
Me: Ethan?
Ethan turns to me.
Ethan: I'm wearing your bra (he giggles).
Me: Yes. I can see that.
Then he puts his hands on the bra cups - again caressing them.
Really?
Ethan: I like these.
Really.
Body parts -- or lack thereof -- tampons and bras - just to name a few.
The body part one is always fun. When I was a stay-at-home mom, I couldn't take a shower without one of the younger ones making himself comfortable in the bathroom. The conversations that would occur are terribly funny... but even I am too embarrassed to write what they said.
I can't remember how many boxes of tampons I lost because a son would find them, unwrap each of them, and pull them apart.
Oh - and bras. By the time each were four years old, they had tried them on, or wore several at once.
But I didn't realize just how intriguing bras could be until last night.
Ethan is involved in this one, in case you couldn't figure it out.
I had washed several bras and laid them out to dry in my bedroom. Each formed in perfect domes to keep their shape. Then Ethan came in...
Ethan: What are these doing?
Me: They are drying because I washed them.
I turned around to dig into another laundry basket and tackle more clothes. When I came up, Ethan had squished all my finely formed domes.
Me: Ethan! Don't do that!
Ethan: Why? They were all puffy!
Me: They are supposed to be like that. If you squish them, they'll dry all wrinkled.
Ethan looks down at them carefully.
Ethan: Why do you have to wear these?
Me: Because woman have boobs and they need to be protected.
pause
He considers this for a moment.
Ethan: But why are your bras so big?
Me: (sigh) They aren't that big.
He looks down again.
Ethan: Yeah they are.
Me: Ethan, fix the bras please.
Ethan: What am I supposed to do?
Me: Puff them back up.
Ethan goes down the assembly line and carefully pushes them back into domes.
I turn away to grab more laundry to fold. I come up. Now he is caressing the bras.
omg
Me: Ethan. What are you doing?
Ethan: They are so soft.
He is now taking his pointy finger and poking them... trying to see if I'll notice that once again, he wants to push them down.
Me: Don't even think about it Ethan.
He looks me in the eye with his charming little smile. And he pushes two down.
Me: ETHAN! I am not kidding you. Please. Really don't do that! I am going to get angry. Leave them alone. Okay?
He sighs and agrees to leave them alone.
Me: I need to go to the laundry room and get more clothes. Please don't mess with the bras, okay?
Ethan: Okay.
Who am I kidding?
About ten minutes later, I head back into the bedroom. There is a little hallway before you walk into the door, and I see Ethan's reflection in our big window. He is standing on the bed, wearing a bra and looking at himself in the mirror.
Me: Ethan?
Ethan turns to me.
Ethan: I'm wearing your bra (he giggles).
Me: Yes. I can see that.
Then he puts his hands on the bra cups - again caressing them.
Really?
Ethan: I like these.
Really.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Random Ramblings
Some random ramblings from our weekend.
Paul shoveled the snow off the pond so the boys could skate and play hockey this winter. I've probably mentioned this before, but we live on the 5th tee of a golf course and we have a beautiful, huge backyard. Just outside our back gate is a pond. It really is lovely scenery for a house in-town.
A few winter's ago, Paul decided that the pond should be cleared off so the boys would have something fun to do in during the cold months. He didn't tell me about his plan, I just looked out the window and there he was - with the snowblower, on the pond. Later that day, his dad brought over an agar to try to flood the pond so it would be super smooth. It didn't work. But luckily, the pond was smooth enough to skate on...
When he cleared the pond that first year, Ethan was only 3 - so it was important to have some mode of communication between the house and the pond. Walkie talkies came in very handy, along with some soccer chairs. Ethan would get tired and sit on the chair... and if he was headed towards the house, I'd get a call.
It also proved handy for the older boys. Paul and I could sit in the sunroom and enjoy a quiet conversation, keep and eye on the kids, and know that they'd call us on the walkie talkie if there was a problem.
Honestly, Paul is out there as much as the kids are... and now the pond has become a bit of a local spot for the kids in the neighborhood.
****
My dad and I are very close. I feel comfortable telling him everything that is going on in my life. Always have. If I am struggling with something, unsure of how to handle a situation, or just need to vent - I can always ALWAYS count on him to listen and offer advice.
This weekend, he was alone - my brother came to town to take my mom on an antique roadtrip as her birthday present. This gave me a chance to call my dad and just hang out with him. Zach and I went out to dinner with him one night, and this afternoon dad and I went to Barnes and Noble to chat over a cup of coffee.
I could write a book about my dad... and what he has taught me. But not tonight.
It was just really nice to spend time with him this weekend.
****
Zach and I went shopping this weekend for some jeans for him. Since September he has grown several inches. However, he has not expanded. Do you know how hard it is to find jeans in a 26 inch waist and 28 inch inseam? For a while, I wasn't sure what we were going to do. Everything that fit in the waist was about 2 inches too short -- even when he wore the jeans around his hips (which I hate, but whatever).
Finally we scored and found Levi's Slims 26x28. I bought the only two pairs we could find. Then I told him to gain some weight for God's sake. If he is going to grow into a 30 inch inseam, his waist has got to be 28 - or we are in some deep do-do.
Zach has always been a snazzy dresser. While we were out shopping he spotted some stuff that he thought would look good on his 11-year-old brother, Evan. Evan is now in middle school - so dressing well has become more important.
Zach picked out some shirts and jeans for Evan... and we went home. Then, (and I thought this was particularly nice), Zach spent about an hour with Evan, showing him how to put it all together -- along with some of his other clothes.
It leaves me hope that indeed, they do care about each other and will look out for each other as they get older.
***
Ethan - who is always a little lover - was particularly lovey today. After I got home from coffee with my dad, he ran to me and gave me the biggest hug. He led me to the couch, sat me down, and made himself comfortable in my lap.
He sorta wiggled himself into a position where I had to cradle him -- when the kissing commenced. Random kisses on the cheek, hand, and forehead accompanied by at least a half dozen "I love yous," and several compliments on the way I smelled. He sure knows how to flatter a girl.
Paul shoveled the snow off the pond so the boys could skate and play hockey this winter. I've probably mentioned this before, but we live on the 5th tee of a golf course and we have a beautiful, huge backyard. Just outside our back gate is a pond. It really is lovely scenery for a house in-town.
A few winter's ago, Paul decided that the pond should be cleared off so the boys would have something fun to do in during the cold months. He didn't tell me about his plan, I just looked out the window and there he was - with the snowblower, on the pond. Later that day, his dad brought over an agar to try to flood the pond so it would be super smooth. It didn't work. But luckily, the pond was smooth enough to skate on...
When he cleared the pond that first year, Ethan was only 3 - so it was important to have some mode of communication between the house and the pond. Walkie talkies came in very handy, along with some soccer chairs. Ethan would get tired and sit on the chair... and if he was headed towards the house, I'd get a call.
It also proved handy for the older boys. Paul and I could sit in the sunroom and enjoy a quiet conversation, keep and eye on the kids, and know that they'd call us on the walkie talkie if there was a problem.
Honestly, Paul is out there as much as the kids are... and now the pond has become a bit of a local spot for the kids in the neighborhood.
****
My dad and I are very close. I feel comfortable telling him everything that is going on in my life. Always have. If I am struggling with something, unsure of how to handle a situation, or just need to vent - I can always ALWAYS count on him to listen and offer advice.
This weekend, he was alone - my brother came to town to take my mom on an antique roadtrip as her birthday present. This gave me a chance to call my dad and just hang out with him. Zach and I went out to dinner with him one night, and this afternoon dad and I went to Barnes and Noble to chat over a cup of coffee.
I could write a book about my dad... and what he has taught me. But not tonight.
It was just really nice to spend time with him this weekend.
****
Zach and I went shopping this weekend for some jeans for him. Since September he has grown several inches. However, he has not expanded. Do you know how hard it is to find jeans in a 26 inch waist and 28 inch inseam? For a while, I wasn't sure what we were going to do. Everything that fit in the waist was about 2 inches too short -- even when he wore the jeans around his hips (which I hate, but whatever).
Finally we scored and found Levi's Slims 26x28. I bought the only two pairs we could find. Then I told him to gain some weight for God's sake. If he is going to grow into a 30 inch inseam, his waist has got to be 28 - or we are in some deep do-do.
Zach has always been a snazzy dresser. While we were out shopping he spotted some stuff that he thought would look good on his 11-year-old brother, Evan. Evan is now in middle school - so dressing well has become more important.
Zach picked out some shirts and jeans for Evan... and we went home. Then, (and I thought this was particularly nice), Zach spent about an hour with Evan, showing him how to put it all together -- along with some of his other clothes.
It leaves me hope that indeed, they do care about each other and will look out for each other as they get older.
***
Ethan - who is always a little lover - was particularly lovey today. After I got home from coffee with my dad, he ran to me and gave me the biggest hug. He led me to the couch, sat me down, and made himself comfortable in my lap.
He sorta wiggled himself into a position where I had to cradle him -- when the kissing commenced. Random kisses on the cheek, hand, and forehead accompanied by at least a half dozen "I love yous," and several compliments on the way I smelled. He sure knows how to flatter a girl.
Scaramouche
Ethan spent much of yesterday singing parts of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody. In particular:
Ethan: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me...
Followed by...
Ethan: Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Scaramouche!
Anyways... for a bunch of reasons I'm not going to get into, Zach and I ended up picking up my dad to go out to eat for dinner.
As we are sitting in my dad's driveway in the car, waiting for him to come out, I say to Zach...
Me: Zach? Do you have any idea why Ethan was singing a Queen song today? He kept singing "I'm a poor boy" and "Scaramouche! Scaramouche!"
Zach: (laughs)... yeah. I taught him that. Pretty funny.
Me: It was funny. I figured it was you.
Zach: It was...
My father comes out from his house and gets into my car.
Me: Hey Dad. What were you doing?
Dad: Oh... I was just watching a movie called Scaramouche from 1952. It reminded me of when I was in school in Turkey...
Pretty much all I heard was Scaramouche. I turned and looked at Zach whose mouth was hanging open.
Me: Dad. Stop. What? What is the movie called?
Dad: Scaramouche.
Me: Are you kidding me?
Dad: No! An old movie with Janet Leigh and there is swordfighting which reminded me of the time in Turkey when my friend and I had to take a class....
I lost track of what he was saying.
Zach and I stopped him and explained that we were JUST talking and used the word scaramouche.
Me: Oh my God Dad! Isn't that weird?!
Dad: It is weird.
Isn't that freaky? I mean, it's not like Scaramouche is a word people just throw around everyday.
...and I checked. There is a movie from 1952 called Scaramouche. A remake of the original made in 1923:
Which is based on a historical novel written in 1921 by Rafael Sabatini. A a romantic adventure about a young lawyer during the French Revolution. The lawyer, through a series of follies, becomes an actor playing "Scaramouche" in a comedy play. There's a lot more to it... but you'll just have to Bing or Google or Yahoo or whatever you want to do to find out more.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
