It's a burrito!

Last night we all went out for Mexican food. My 14-year-old insists on ordering from the adult menu because he is 14. Most of the time, the food weighs more than him.

On our way home, a moan comes from the backseat of the van.

Zach: Oh my God Mom! They are about 10 seconds apart. 

Me: What?

Zach: The contractions... Oh the contractions! They hurt so bad. They are 10 seconds apart. I think I'm having a super burrito.

Oh my God.

Now his 8-year-old brother, who is sitting next to him in the backseat, joins in...

Zayd: OK-  Zach... just breathe. Pant... like a dog.

I have GOT to cancel our cable.

Zach: (panting). Time them Zayd. 

Zayd: (pause) Oh no! 8 seconds apart. OH MY GOD! I think your water broke!

That's it, I'm getting rid of all the TVs in the house.

Zach: Oh yeah! I'm having it... the burrito is on it's way!

Followed by more panting and grunting sounds. 

Chorus of boys: It's a burrito! Oh... it's a super burrito! It's so cute! (laughter)

Contraction envy. That's what this is.