Hair plants

Zayd: Mom? If you water your chest will you grow chest hair?

Me: No.

pause

Zayd: If you water right here (he points to upper lip) will you grow a mustache?

Me: Uh... no.

Zayd: Why not?

Me: Because you aren't a plant growing in the soil with sunshine.

pause

His eyes grow wide.

Zayd: What if you took some hair and put it in some soil and watered it. Would it grow?

Me: No.

Zayd: How do you know?

Me: I just do.

Zayd: Have you ever done it before?

Me: No.

Zayd: Then you don't know for sure.

Me: I suppose.

pause

A devilish smile comes across his face as he stares at my head of hair.

Zayd: Can I have some hair?

Me: Go grow your own.