Occasionally I wonder if there are other families who have dinner conversations like ours does. Or is it a result of having four boys under the age of 15 at the dinner table?
Tonight's dinner conversation:
Ethan: Uhm... do any of you fart a lot because I do.
Everyone turns to look at him.
Me: Okay. Sooo... you mean you always fart, or today you farted a lot.
Ethan: Yeah. Today I did. I had beans.
pause
Me: Hmmm... and how did that go over?
Ethan: (scrunches up his nose)... Uhm... kinda bad.
Evan: Oh my gosh! Can I tell you that no one. NO ONE should ever use the stall in the bathroom at Carl Ben (middle school).
Zach: (sarcastically) Right. Thanks for the update.
Zayd: So where do we poop? In the urinal?
All the boys start laughing. I just look over at Paul and sigh.
Ethan: (begins giggling) Ewwwww!
Zach: Why shouldn't we use the stall?
Ethan: Because the toilet paper is like two of the thinnest sheets of tissue paper ever - glued together. And it sticks to your butt on contact.
Me: Wow. Thanks for that Evan. We are eating.
Evan: I'm sorry! But it is awful!
Zach: You are just comparing it to our soft and quilted Charmin.
pause
Zach: Which by the way is very nice stuff. Quite comfortable and cushiony.
Zayd does his snort laugh.
Paul: We're not using Charmin anymore.
Zach: We're not?
Me: No. We've downgraded - to Food Club.
Zayd: We're using Food Club toilet paper?
Me: Yes.
Paul: I think it is better than Charmin.
Zach: Wow. I couldn't tell the difference.
Paul: Actually I think it is Charmin, repackaged.
pause
Ethan: Uhm... I really farted a lot today in school mom. A lot.
(sigh)
Me: And how did you feel about that?
pause
Ethan: Not so good.
pause
Ethan: I am doing it now too.
pause
Ethan: Excuse me.
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laughed my head off. i love your family....
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