Underwear theme continues...

I asked my 14-year-old to read a book to his 5-year-old brother before bed. Zachary left, and a few minutes later, returned to my bedroom straight-faced...

Zach: Uhmmm. Yeah. You know, I don't think I need to be subjected to this kind of experience.

Me: (sigh - along with frustrated look) 

I'm just asking the kid to read ONE book. Help me out here.

Zach: Ethan's hands are in his underwear. I don't know how long they've been there, but I'm guessing it's been long enough to have some significant effect to the cleanliness of his hands. Frankly, I don't want to be near his hands. I don't think that is too much to ask, is it?

Me: (another sigh) Zach. Please? Just read him a book.

(pause)  We stare at each other for a moment.

Me: Why don't you take him to the bathroom and help him wash his hands.

Zach: Mom. Really? I don't think soap and water are going to kill the germs that are growing on his hands. I'm just saying.

(pause)

Zach: OK. Fine. I'll do it this time. But next time - it's your job. I'm done. Until his hands come out of his pants on a long term basis, I'm done.