Parents vs children

I'm in the bedroom folding laundry. Paul is outside in the backyard working.

Paul yells from below...

Paul: Naaajjj?

Me: WHAT!

Paul: Naaajjjj?!

Me: WHAT!

pause

Paul: Naaajjj? Do you have a minute?

I go to the window and look below.

Paul: Naaajj? Is there a reason why we have four boys and none of them help with the yardwork?


Does he want an answer or is he making a statement?

Me: No.

Paul: So, you don't have a problem with them working.

pause

Me: No. But they have been helping me all morning. Ethan cleaned and vaccumed the family room, Evan walked the dog and cleaned his bedroom that was full of food, Zayd picked up his room and cleaned the bathroom..

pause

Me: Zach did nothing.

Paul: So does that give them a pass or something?

Me: A pass?

Paul: Does that mean they can't help with the yardwork.

Me: No.

pause

Me: Why are you asking me this?

Paul: I just want to make sure we are on the same page.

Me: Okay. We are on the same page.

Paul: So you are okay with me forcing them out here to work?

I don't get this.

Me: Well, of course!

Paul: Okay.

Within 2 minutes of this conversation, Ethan comes into my room and sits down next to me with a book.

Ethan: I am going to read now.

Me: But your dad asked you to work outside.

Ethan: I know! But I have to read!

pause

Me: No. You need to listen to your dad. Go outside and help.

Ethan: (big groan w/ loud stomping out of the bedroom).

A minute later (and I'm not even kidding)... Evan comes in. Sits down next to me with a hand-full of Fritos. This after he spent the entire morning cleaning popcorn and food from his room -- and after I spent 10 minutes lecturing about NOT eating upstairs.

Evan: Watcha doing?

omg

Me: Why are you here? You are supposed to be outside helping dad.

Evan: I just came to say hi!

Me: Get outside.

Evan: God mom. Why do you get so mad?

Me: And WHY do you have those chips in here!

Evan: I'm going! (he stomps out)...

Okay - seriously.. and I wish I was kidding. No sooner had Evan walked out when Zach walked in.

Zach: So I have to tell you something mom.

sigh

Zach: Did you know Ethan was eating soap?

pause

Me: Yes. I know.

Soap eating is another entry.

Zach: You know the pitcher of Crystal Light downstairs? Ethan drank it. Right out of the pitcher. He put his mouth on it and drank. So now there is soap on it.

Me: Zach? What do you want? Aren't you supposed to be outside helping dad?

pause

Zach: Oh.

pause

Zach: Yeah.

He walks out.

A few minutes later Zayd walks in.

Zayd: What are you doing mom?

Me: OH MY GOD! Get outside and help your dad!

Zayd: GEEZ MOM! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS YELL!

Me: ZAYD!

Zayd: Okay! Okay! (He stomps out).

So, all four have been in... five minutes pass and Evan walks in...

Evan: Mom? I have a question for you.

Me: EVAN!

Evan: What!?

ME: GET OUTSIDE!

Evan: Why are you so mad!?

ME: BECAUSE AS SOON AS YOUR FATHER ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, YOU ARE ALL IN HERE WITH ME!

pause

Lightbulb goes on for Najla.