Friday, May 21, 2010

King Zayd's Address to the Court

The other day I came home from work to find Zayd sitting cross-legged on the floor, facing our sofa in the sunroom. He was wearing a lavender felt poncho and a red crown made of foam craft sheets - adorned with stickers and some sort of fuzzy white stuff. He has a large plastic storage box opened... and it looked like one I keep all his old artwork and school work in....

Did I mention he was talking? Facing the sofa?

To no one?

Our most fabulous sitter, Kate, was there. Wednesdays are "art day" - and Zayd has an art class at a local artist's home studio - so Kate picks him up from school to take him there.

Me: Kate? Is Zayd talking?

Kate: Yes.

She gives me a classic Kate look that says something like, "You know your kids as well as I do and seeing Zayd sitting facing the couch talking to no one should not surprise you but I totally agree with you - he is strange and funny - but no.. I don't think you should be alarmed."

I continue looking at Zayd.

Me: Uhm... what is he doing?

Kate: Well, he was reading to me. He was looking through all his old schoolwork and projects.


Me: Okay. But he's still talking.

Kate: Yes. I know.

She gives me the classic Kate look again.

Me: Alright then. I'm going to change clothes.

Zayd was waiting for me when I returned.

Zayd: I meant to give you this on Mother's Day.

He hands me a hot pink booklet. It is a coupon book he made. I now had coupons to redeem with Zayd good for, among other things:

1. Making dinner
2. Cleaning his room
3. A no whining day
4. No hitting his brother(s)
5. Anything

Me: Wow! This is great! Thank you sweetie!

I give him a hug and a kiss.

He steps back from me and stares blankly at me.

long pause

Zayd: You aren't going to use them, are you? (he says totally deadpan)


Me: Uhhhh... yeah. I kinda was.


Zayd: You are. (statement, not question).


Me: Yeah. (pause). I am. (counter statement, not question).


Zayd: I was hoping you wouldn't.

Me: Okay. Then why give it to me if you didn't want me to use it?

And, by the way, why are we having this conversation?

Zayd: Yeah. I thought about that.


Me: And... what sort of conclusion did you come to?

Zayd: I made it. So I am giving it to you.


Me: Well... alright then.

He continues to stand there - staring at me.

I have come to learn that trying to follow Zayd's logic at any given time will offer me nothing but a mild throbbing ache behind my right eye. I choose to change the topic.

Me: Why are you wearing that cape and crown?

His eyes narrow saying something like "Mom. Really? You can't be that stupid."


Zayd: I made it.

And then... well... there you go.


  1. I like this because it's so totally random. I thought about writing a post about last sunday morning--nothing really happened, but then, everything that was going on seemed to encapsulate so much of what it was to live our lives. instead, though, I wrote a really boring post about risk aversion in hong kong academia. your post is, doubtless to say, much better . . . : )

  2. Paul - coming from you, that is a great compliment. Thank you.