Sunday, September 20, 2009


Today's prevailing theme is nudity.

The boys went to the lake yesterday so I could work on my dissertation. When they got home at night Paul said:

Paul: We went out on the pontoon and everyone went for a swim. Ethan forgot his swimsuit but had no trouble dropping trou in front of everyone.

Me: You let him swim in the middle of the lake? He's not that good of a swimmer.

Paul: No - we had a lifejacket on him.


Me: He had a lifejacket on and no swimsuit. 


Paul: Yup. 

Me: Just the lifejacket.

Paul: Yup.


Paul: It was quite a sight. 


This morning I came down the stairs and Paul was already up (of course. He wakes up at like 5:30 every morning)... 

Paul: I had a really weird dream about you last night.

Me: Really?

Paul: Yeah. Really weird.

Me: Well... tell me!

Paul looks over at Zayd who is standing in the kitchen with us.

Me: Oh... you can't tell me right now?


Paul: Well... no. I could. 

Zayd is now smiling.

Me: Does he know what it is?

Paul: No, he hasn't heard it.

Me: Tell me!

Paul: (starts chuckling) So you decided to become a nudist.

I start laughing.

Me: Of course I did.

Paul: And you said to me that if I really loved you, I would let you be a nudist.

I laugh out loud again.

Me: I would never say anything like that, would I? 

Yes I would.

Paul: Right. So I finally agreed and we had to go and see my parents.

Me: Oh my God. (laughing) You are kidding me? This isn't your dream, this is your nightmare!

Paul: So then we are at my parents and you are wearing this weird netting thing - but nothing underneath.

Me: Why am I wearing anything if I am a nudist?

Paul: Don't know.

Me: Okay. And what do your parents say?

Paul: Nothing. They just pretend nothing is going on. But then they had invited a bunch of people and so everyone was there and everyone was pretending that you weren't nude... but then they stopped talking to you because they were kinda embarrassed. 

Me: I would think.

Paul: And then all of a sudden you came to the realization that you were nude and you went into the kitchen and sat at the table and cried.

Me: And...

Paul: That was it.


Me: I think this has something to do with Ethan wearing a lifejacket and nothing else yesterday at the lake.

Paul: I hope so.

Me: I promise I will not become a nudist.

Paul: Thanks.


Later that morning, when Paul and I are having coffee and reading the Sunday paper... Ethan comes in...

Zayd: OH MY GOD!!!

Ethan: What?

Ethan is on his tip-toes, his had is on his action-pack. He is wearing a cowboy hat and nothing else.


Me: Zayd, stop screaming. Ethan, why are you naked?

Ethan: I can't find anything to wear!

Paul: There are some clothes on your shelf in the laundry room.

Ethan: I can't find anything to wear!

Zayd: AHHHH!!!!

Me: ZAYD! Stop screaming. Why don't you help your brother find something to wear.

Ethan is now draped on my chair. He gets up and his cowboy hat is now half covering his eyes. He looks ridiculously funny. I have to cover my mouth and turn to keep from laughing at him.

Paul: Ethan. You need to listen. Go to the basement and get some clothes - then brush your teeth please.

Ethan: Fine.

Zayd is still in the room with his hands over his eyes. Ethan VERY slowly walks away... on his tip-toes... hoping Zayd will look at him one more time.

He finally dances away.

Me: Okay - he is going to be a problem for us.

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