Last night, we went to a lovely, old-Hollywood inspired upscale called "The Silver Moon." The owner is a New Yorker who came back to Fargo to help care for his aging parents. He and his partner run the restaurant.
So, Paul and I are seated in this intimate corner of the restaurant by the owner. He tells us a bit about his restaurant (because it is our first visit) and mentions it is in part, inspired by the Rainbow Room. I then, offhandedly mention that Paul and I may take a long-weekend getaway to New York.
Leave it to me to offer too much information.
That was the end of our intimate dinner.
The mere mention of New York sent our owner into a euphoric state of skyscraper proportions... He could NOT stop talking about his city.
Owner: Oh my! I love talking about New York. I lived there for 30 years and it is simply a grand city. I will tell you everything you need to know to make your visit spectacular. Do you like theater?
Me: Oh, we do!
Damn it! Why can't I keep my mouth shut?
Owner: Well... (and then he explained where we can go for same-day tickets or deeply-discounted tickets, or day-before-show tickets, or online full-price tickets... I think he managed to give us names, addresses, and even ticket prices in 2 minutes).
Paul: Hummm....
Owner: Oh! Must run off! Enjoy!
pause
Me: I guess I hit a hot-button.
Paul: I think he's done.
Not quite. A minute later, he returns.
Owner: Now, how long will you be staying in New York?
Frankly, we hadn't even gotten past the, "Wouldn't a trip to New York be fun?" stage.
Me: Uhm....
Owner: Well... you must stay for at least one week.
Paul: Oh...
Owner: Now are you flying into Kennedy or LaGuardia?
Me: We're not really....
Owner: Because if you take a cab, you are going to wait in line for about an hour and then who knows how much it will cost you. It can run anywhere from $40 to $60 depending on if they take you the long way around or not.
Me: (inhale in to respond)...
Owner: So what I'll do is I'll give you the name of my driver, Victor. He'll take care of you. Ooo. I need to go.
He sashays off.
I bite my lip and look at Paul who is giving me a look that says... "You have GOT to stop looking so interested in what he says."
Me: I can't help it! He is so excited!
Two minutes later - seriously - he is back.
Owner: So there are four things you simply must do when you go to New York: Enjoy the fabulous restaurants, sightsee, theater and shopping.
Me: I love shopping.
SHIT. Why did I respond! God, I can't even help myself.
Owner: Oh yes... the shopping is tremendous. Now if you are going shopping I suggest either cabs or you can use the bus system..... (on and on and on)
He leaves. He returns. He leaves. He returns. He leaves. He returns.
It actually became quite entertaining - like dinner theater. He would come and make a few remarks and then give a great punch line, and sashays off again. Paul and I then would look at each other and say "Buh dum pump."
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This next restaurant experience was just weird. We were sitting at a beautiful table overlooking the river in Fargo - the room was floor to ceiling windows...
There was some sort of Norwegian festival going on at the Hjemkomst Center down the street because a group of older people dressed in traditional Norwegian wear came in and sat at a large table.
But then one of them - a man - probably in his 70s... came up towards the window with his camera to get a picture of the river.
Apparently the view from our table was exactly where he needed to be. I mean, exactly where we were sitting. He stood right at our table - belly pressed against it -- leaning over it to get a picture.
Paul and I first stared at each other with puzzled looks. We could actually look at each other because he was leaning so far forward. Then I couldn't look at Paul anymore because I thought I would burst out laughing.
The guy stood there for at least 3 minutes. Then he moved behind my chair (and I mean RIGHT behind my chair) to take more pictures.
About 5 minutes later he left to his table.
pause
We burst out laughing.
Me: I don't even know what to say.
Paul: Oh my God.
Me: Do we just have labels that say, "Come on and join us - we don't mind?"
Paul: We want you to sit ON our table and feel comfortable.
Me: Is this what happens to Norwegians when they get older? I mean... they just become oblivious to their surroundings?
Paul: Yes.
Me: So, I won't be taking you out in public when you get older?
pause
Paul: Not sure. Unless you are willing to put a leash on me.
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