Moles

This morning as I was putting on my makeup in my bathroom...

Zayd: Mom. I have 30 moles.

Me: Really? Wow.

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Me: How do you know?

Zayd: I counted them.

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Zayd: And I have one on my butt.

pause

Me: Okay. How did you find that one?

Zayd: I looked.

I stare at him for a moment.

Me: Right. But how did you see your butt?

Maybe I don't want to know.

Zayd: I turned like this.

He turns his head around and leans back a little. Impressive move.

Me: Okay - but what about back here? (I touch his upper back) Did you count those?

Ethan: I DID! (he says excitedly). And I have one in the corner of my eye!

Me: This is great. It's good to know these things. Thank you for telling me.

Zayd: How many do you have?

Me: I don't know. But I'm sure I have many.

Zayd: Should we count them?

Me: Uh... no. We don't have time to count them.

Nor can I think of one good reason to have my children examining my body for moles.

Me: Okay - I need to finish putting on my makeup.

Zayd and Ethan leave. Zayd reappears a few minutes later.

Zayd: I guess I have 31 moles.

Me: Oh you found another?

Zayd: Yes. Right here.

He points to his chest - about where his heart would be.

Me: Uh-huh... (I'm putting on mascara which takes incredible concentration and a steady hand).

Zayd: Do people get moles taken off?

Me: Yes.

Zayd: How?

Me: A doctor usually cuts it out.

Zayd: Oh.

pause

Zayd: Then I'm not going to do that.

Me: Alright then.

Zayd: But this mole is going to be a problem.

Me: Why?

Zayd: Because it looks like I have a third nipple.