Pee Dance

At about 7 am this morning I was still in bed with the covers pulled up - covering most of my head.

But I see my closet light come on...

hmmm... who is it? Paul? A son?

Then I hear feet... quickly tapping on the carpet back and forth and back and forth... The tapping gets closer and faster... and soon the bathroom light turns on...

Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap... little bare feet on the bathroom tile. Ah. I know this sound too well. It is the Pee Dance.

The Pee Dance is the little jig that all my boys have done at one time or another. It's the "Oh my God I gotta get me to the nearest toilet and get my zipper down as fast as possible" dance.

The tapping stops.

pause

I am patiently waiting for the next vital sound. The sound of pee hitting the water in the toilet. This is important for a mother to hear. If she hears it, she knows the target has been hit. If not... there will be a mess to clean up.

pause

I hear... well... kinda the right sound.

Hmmm... he must be a close to the foul line... a little too far over to the left. 

Then it is quiet again. The light goes off in the bathroom and the next thing I hear is some clinking of change in the closet.

What is that child doing in our closet? What is he doing in the coffee can full of change?

The light goes off and a shadow comes up to the foot of the bed.

Ethan: Mom? (he says quietly)

Me: Yes? (I whisper)

Ethan: Can I sweep with you? (yes. he says sweep, not sleep).

Me: Yes.

He climbs onto the bed, tucks himself under the covers and curls up next to me. His arm drapes over my waist and his head snuggled near my neck.

Me: Did you wash your hands?

pause

Ethan: I don't know.

He didn't. Note to self - "I don't know" means no.

Me: Did you pee in the toilet or on mom's floor.

Ethan: No! I didn't get it on the floor.

Me: Oh. Good.

pause


Me: What were you doing with the money from Mommy and Daddy's closet?

pause

pause

He must think I am psychic or something.

Ethan: Well... I just have four monies. Just four. I wanna buy four pencils at school today.

Me: Hmmm... You should ask before you take money from the can.

Little thief. Cute, cuddly, little thief.

Ethan: Mom. I'm wearing my Spongebob pajamas.

Me: Really? Do you love those pajamas?

Ethan: Yes.

Me: I love them too.

pause


Me: Are you my baby?

Ethan: (snuggles closer) Yethh....

pause

Me: Oh good.


pause

Me: I love you.

Ethan: I love you too.

What a fabulous way to be woken up in the morning.