It was early Sunday morning and I was enjoying my cup of coffee with my in-laws when my brother-in-law, Lon, joins us.
Lon: If you notice anything weird in Ethan's stool - don't worry.
Lon: Weeellll - you might see something really black and strange looking in the next couple of days. Don't panic. It's o.k.
Me: What did he eat?
Lon: A leech.
Me: ARE you KIDDING ME?!
Lon: Oh - it was a rubber leech.
Like that makes it better.
Lon: It was a big one too.
Lon: Yeah, I have these great big black rubber leeches in my tackle box. I noticed him playing with them... and next thing I know... he is chewing on something. So I asked him if he we eating one of the leeches.
Me: ...And he said yes.
Lon: No - he said no. Then he said yes.
Me: Oh my God! What is wrong with this kid! He is almost 6-years-old!
Lon: I think it was the texture that he liked. It is sorta soft and gummy... I think he liked the way it felt.
This reminds me of the time Zach ate dog poop...
Then my sister-in-law brought up an interesting question.
Lynette: Was it one of the stinky leeches?
Lon: No. It did not have a scent.
Lynette: Oh good. That would be really gross.
Now we are quantifying grossness. As if it wasn't weird enough he ate a jumbo rubber leech.
Later that day, when we were down by the beach together, I asked Ethan if he ate a rubber leech.
Me: Yes or no Ethan.
Ethan: Welll... yes.
Ethan: I liked it!
Me: Honey... we don't eat rubber things. That's not good for you.
Ethan: It tasted good. I want to eat it.
Me: Ethan, promise mommy you won't eat rubber things anymore.
Ethan: (sigh). Fine. I'll try not to.
That's all I can ask.