First, on our car ride to go to out to eat last night:
All was quiet in the car when suddenly Zayd yells out the question, "Who here finds me attractive?"
A bit later during our drive... Ethan , who can only read the following words -- We, is, and the -- yells out "HOOTERS!" I look out the window and by God... there's the Hooter's sign. Paul and I are so proud to add Hooter's to Ethan's list of words he can recognize. I'm certain his 1st grade teacher will be so impressed.
Later that night, Zach, Zach's friend, Carter, Evan and I were preparing for Zayd's birthday treasure hunt. This is a birthday ritual that started about 5 years ago. The birthday boy has to find his presents through a treasure hunt of riddles. Since Zayd is turning 9, he gets to work through 9 riddles to find his presents. The first riddle is always waiting for them under their pillow when they wake up in the morning -- expect for Zayd who fights with his bedsheets - so I put it on the table next to him.
Anyways...
Carter takes the roll of wrapping paper and hits Zach where it counts. Here is what ensues:
Zach: Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........wwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
Evan and Carter laugh
Me: What? WHAT?!
Zach: Oooooooohhhhh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ooooooooooo... they are moving uppppp into my abdomen. Up they gooo....
Evan and Carter still laughing
Me: What? What is going into your abdomen? Are you ok? What's going on?
Zach: Helllllp. Helllllp. I can feel them moving up.
Carter: OK bud. I'm here for you man. Let me help.
Zach: Noooooo! Let me deal with this. Don't touch me Carter.
Carter: I'm your bud man, I can't let you go through this on your own.
Carter proceeds to hug Zach from behind... and says:
Carter: OK - we're going to do this together Zach. Hang with me man. We're gonna get them back to where they belong.
Zach: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.....ooooooooooooo....oweeeeeeee...
Carter (who is easily 5'11 and 170 lbs compared to Zach who is 5'3 and 90 lbs) lifts Zach up and brings him crashing down. Up and down, up and down -- he is gonna get them back where they belong.
Carter: Let's get thunder and lightening back down to where they belong.
What? Who are thunder and lightening?
Me: Why are they in your abdomen Zach? Are you serious? Does that really happen?
Zach: Mom. Please. I can't talk right now.
Carter lets go of Zach and Zach lies on the floor in the fetal position. I am now standing over Zach.
Me: Zach. Seriously. You are scaring me. Are you ok?
Zach: I'll be fine mom. This happens.
Carter: I didn't hit them that hard!
Zach: HEY! They are sensitive.
Me: And will someone please tell me what is thunder and lightening and what that has to do with this?!
Evan: You don't want to know mom.
Carter: You don't know about thunder, lightening and Zeus?
Zeus?
Me: No! What are you guys talking about?
Zach: Don't tell her Carter - It'll end up on her blog.
Carter: Mom (he calls me that - and he is speaking to me as if I am in 1st grade) Mom. Thunder is on the left and Lightening in on the right... and ZEUS! (now he strikes and interesting pose. He turns to the side and holds his right arm at a 90 degree angle in the air -- his face looks the same way. In a powerful loud voice he proclaims:) ZEUS! is in the MIDDLE. He is in control and he gains strength through work and exercise!
o.m.g.
Wow, life in an all-boy household is SO different from life in an all-girl one! But I can totally picture you asking, "Are you serious? Does that really happen?" (Remember asking me, "What's a pearl necklace?"?) And I love Zach's realizing that "it'll end up on her blog."
ReplyDeleteOh. Ouch. Not only did I cross my legs in sympathy pain (Ask any guy who has read this, if they're honest they'll tell you they did the same thing.), but I seriously laughed out loud for the "It'll end up in her blog" comment. At least your life is never boring, right?
ReplyDeleteRobert
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