Mad Men

I played Monopoly City with the three older boys last night.

As a result I learned a lot about them -- and I encouraged all of them to stay OUT of business school.

First, we have Evan who is a bit too "fly by the seat of my pants" and "talk before you think" to be allowed to get into any business negotiation.

Let me illustrate my Evan for you. In the game, if you land on a property, and you don't want to buy it - it goes up for auction:

Zach: Okay, this piece of property is valued at $1.2 million. So, let's start the auction... now.

Zayd: $500-thousand...

Evan: (shouting) 6 MILLION!


pause

We all turn to look at Evan in disbelief.

Evan: I really want it.

So... that was that. (and it happened several times over.)

Then there is Zayd who I have come to realize is a bitter, bitter little man.

He lands on a property he doesn't even want. Then he notices that his brother Evan has one of the properties in the "district."

Zayd: I'm going to buy this property because I know it will make Evan mad.

Evan: I'll pay you 6 MILLION for it!

pause

Zayd considers the proposition for about a half-second.

Zayd: No. I would rather make you mad.

Zach came upon the opportunity to buy a industrial dump facility. According to the rules of "Monopoly City" once you put the dump on a piece of property, you can't put up and homes... and thus can't make money on your property. However, you can put your dump on any property that you'd like.

Zach: I think I'm going to put my dump on Zayd's property.

Zayd: WHAT! WHY does everyone hate me!!! WHY WHY WHY!... (He drops his head against the kitchen table - his forehead stays there for the remainder of the game. Seriously).

I was lucky enough to purchase the "primo property" in the game. Apparently Zayd wanted it and got mad at me for buying it. So he took it out on me later... by putting an industrial dump facility on my prime real estate.

Me: Okayyyy... Zayd. Why are you doing that?

Zayd: Because I am mad at you. I want that property.

And he wonders why everyone hates him.

It went on and on and on like this. Each one of them doing something to hurt the other -- rather than just - oh I don't know - maybe focus on GROWING their own business? Wow. What a concept.

After an hour and a half - Yes. I actually sat through and hour and a half of this... I finally said:

Me: Okay. I've had enough. This is ridiculous. You are all totally grumpy. You aren't talking to one another and Zayd has been playing with his head on the table for the last 40 minutes. I'm tired and I'm going to bed.

They all look up at me

Zach: What! You're leaving! We were just starting to have fun!