Sunday, June 7, 2009

Mom's bikini

I have never worn a bikini.

It's not that I am shy or modest... the opportunity has just never presented itself. Until now.

My sister loaned me one of hers to wear this last week. My family spent the week with her's at her home in Florida. Her home is beautiful! I felt like I was at a spa -- and I felt very comfortable wearing this cute little bikini in her private backyard pool. SO comfortable, that when all the kids were playing inside, I decided it would be fun to find out what it felt like to swim like boys do -- without a top.

You couldn't see anything. I had a Spider Man floaty-thing pressed firmly against my chest as I kicked around the pool. Very sexy -- as you can imagine.

But then I looked up at the big picture window into the kitchen... and there he was. My 14-year-old, with his mouth hanging open... looking at me in sheer horror. I waved. He slapped his hand against his eyes and shook his head. He ran out of sight.

A moment later, my sister came out.

Yasmine: Zach is mortified. He thinks it's gross that you don't have your top on.

Me: Whatever!

Yasmine: I know! I told him, "Whatever! She has nice boobs!"

Me: Huh. Thank you Yaso.

Yasmine: No problem.

Me: So, what did he say to that?

Yasmine: Well, he said, "Imagine YOU are a 14-year-old boy and your mother is swimming around a pool without her top on. How would you feel about it?"

Me: What did you say?


Yasmine: Weeellllll... I told him there were too many variables in his question for me to answer that with any accuracy.


Me: That would be kinda gross.


Yasmine: Yeah. That would be kinda gross.

I put my top back on.


  1. seriously... your stories amaze me....!! i LOVE them!

  2. I think it's good that your kids get a view of what an adult's body looks like that is different (and more realistic) than what we see on magazine covers and in the movies. That said, to a fourteen-year-old, it's probably gross. But from the ages of 13-25, everything your parents do is gross and/or not cool.