When you are the lone woman in a house full of men, you learn to live without privacy, and to explain "all things girl."
Body parts -- or lack thereof -- tampons and bras - just to name a few.
The body part one is always fun. When I was a stay-at-home mom, I couldn't take a shower without one of the younger ones making himself comfortable in the bathroom. The conversations that would occur are terribly funny... but even I am too embarrassed to write what they said.
I can't remember how many boxes of tampons I lost because a son would find them, unwrap each of them, and pull them apart.
Oh - and bras. By the time each were four years old, they had tried them on, or wore several at once.
But I didn't realize just how intriguing bras could be until last night.
Ethan is involved in this one, in case you couldn't figure it out.
I had washed several bras and laid them out to dry in my bedroom. Each formed in perfect domes to keep their shape. Then Ethan came in...
Ethan: What are these doing?
Me: They are drying because I washed them.
I turned around to dig into another laundry basket and tackle more clothes. When I came up, Ethan had squished all my finely formed domes.
Me: Ethan! Don't do that!
Ethan: Why? They were all puffy!
Me: They are supposed to be like that. If you squish them, they'll dry all wrinkled.
Ethan looks down at them carefully.
Ethan: Why do you have to wear these?
Me: Because woman have boobs and they need to be protected.
He considers this for a moment.
Ethan: But why are your bras so big?
Me: (sigh) They aren't that big.
He looks down again.
Ethan: Yeah they are.
Me: Ethan, fix the bras please.
Ethan: What am I supposed to do?
Me: Puff them back up.
Ethan goes down the assembly line and carefully pushes them back into domes.
I turn away to grab more laundry to fold. I come up. Now he is caressing the bras.
Me: Ethan. What are you doing?
Ethan: They are so soft.
He is now taking his pointy finger and poking them... trying to see if I'll notice that once again, he wants to push them down.
Me: Don't even think about it Ethan.
He looks me in the eye with his charming little smile. And he pushes two down.
Me: ETHAN! I am not kidding you. Please. Really don't do that! I am going to get angry. Leave them alone. Okay?
He sighs and agrees to leave them alone.
Me: I need to go to the laundry room and get more clothes. Please don't mess with the bras, okay?
Who am I kidding?
About ten minutes later, I head back into the bedroom. There is a little hallway before you walk into the door, and I see Ethan's reflection in our big window. He is standing on the bed, wearing a bra and looking at himself in the mirror.
Ethan turns to me.
Ethan: I'm wearing your bra (he giggles).
Me: Yes. I can see that.
Then he puts his hands on the bra cups - again caressing them.
Ethan: I like these.