Saturday, December 5, 2009

Play by play: Poop

Ethan is standing in an odd way in front of me in my bedroom.

Me: Do you have to pee?

Ethan: No I have to poop.

Me: Well go to the bathroom then!

Ethan: Okay!

He starts walking like an old man towards my bathroom. As he is walking, slowly I might add, he says:

Ethan: Actually it is starting to come out right now. It's kinda half in and half out.

Oh my God.

Ethan: (Still working on getting situated on the toilet). It's kinda dry and crunchy.


Ethan: No I think it might not be dry. It's going to be a wet one. And it's a big one.

He is giving me this play by play in a raised voice. Kinda monotone. No real emotion. Just the facts.

Ethan: Oh. My. God. Yup. It's gonna be a big one. It's kinda hard and dry.


Ethan: Hmmm... no. It's kinda wet and dry at the same time.

He starts singing: Rubber ducky... you're the one... who... whoo.... I don't remember.

Ethan: Holy cow. (pause). You gotta come and see this.

I hear little plops in the water.

Ethan: These are my chicken nuggets from last night.

More plopping.

Ethan: Whoa.


Ethan: Ewww... No. (pause). They are kinda juicy.


Ethan: Mom. You do not want to see this. You defintely do not want to see this.



  1. It's called "prairie dogging" in my house! Too Funny!

  2. Sorry to say, Naj, but this never ends for guys ... ever.