We headed out this morning to the Twin Cities for two days of amusement park rides and swimming at the Mall of America's Nickelodeon Universe and Valley Fair. The boys have been super excited all week.
I brought a notebook along so I could write down the funny things my kids say - I figured there would be lots of good material, and I didn't want to miss anything.
About two miles from the Mall, we hit major traffic. The boys hit a hyper-high and started chattering up a storm. I pulled out my notebook and wrote (in shorthand to keep up) exactly what they said. Here is the conversation that occurred in the car -- in chronological order - within a three minute time frame:
Zayd: I saw you pick your nose.
Evan: Is that the mall?
Zayd: Oh God I have the worst itch!
Ethan: When will we be there?
Zach: What's L-T-D?
Zayd: sighs and yawns loudly
Evan: Right dad? You can't even see the mall yet?
Zayd: Are we in Minneapolis?
Ethan: A mall has a rollercoaster.
Zayd: (singing) Noooooo, nooooooo, nooooooo!
Ethan: I wished we lived here in this city cause we could go to the Mall of America every day.
Zayd: Hey! Touch the window! It's toasty warm.
Zayd: If you touch the window, all your dreams will come true.
Ethan: (singing) E-I-E-I-Ohhhhhhh! Fantastic!
Zach: Do you see the window Ethan? Do you see the window over there? If you touch me again I'm going to have to throw you out of that window.
Zayd: Is THAT the Mall of America?
Ethan: WHY is there so much traffic?
Zayd: (singing again) It always feels like, somebody's watching meeeee....
Zayd: (talking) Wouldn't it be cool if we lived next to the mall?
Evan: No one lives right next to the mall.
Ethan: I wished we lived IN the mall
Zach: THAT would be cool.
Zayd: HOLY MOLEY! That's a big truck!
Evan: We could get out and walk from here.
Zach: (to Paul and I) Have you ever been to New York?
Me: That's our next family trip.
Zayd: Nooooooo!!!!! I think New York sounds robbery. (pause) And I think of James and the Giant Peach.
Zach: No. No! No. There will be no squeezing. NO squeezing in this car.
Zayd: Evan are you going to be a robber when you grow up?
Evan: Yes. And I'm going to rob your house.
Zach: ETHAN! No touching. Don't touch me. (pause). We are right by the Tria Orthopedic Center. That's comforting... in case anyone puts out a...
Ethan: EVAN! Your foot smells BAD!
Zach: Yeah - it smells really bad.
Evan: Eeeeeewwwww. It DOES smell bad. (pause) It smells like fruit.
Zach: Rotten fruit.
Zayd: (singing) There's only one way, two say, three words....
Ethan: (begins to sing the following using the same melody) There's only one day, Tues-day...
Paul: There's the Best Buy headquarters.
Zach: Right there.
Zayd: Didn't we already pass it?
Zach: Yes, three times.
Zayd: (Bursts out laughing then begins to say:) hum-in-ah, hum-in-ah, hum-in-ah....
Evan: Dick's Sporting Goods
Evan: And there is a meatball by the sign.
Zach: That's a basketball.
Evan: It's brown and bumpy. It looks like a meatball.
(Actually, I thought it looked like a meatball too)
Zayd: (singing, again) Hom Furniture (It is supposed to be pronounced HOME - but the boys insist that because it isn't spelled right, it should be called "H-ah-mmmm") Hom furniture really wants your money! Hom furniture really wants your money.
Finally, I turned to Paul with my mouth open. He begins to shake his head from side to side.
Me: Oh. My. God.
Paul: I know.
Me: How in the hell have we managed to survive raising these kids so far? How is it that we haven't lost our minds?
Paul: Maybe we have.