Evening Banter

Some interesting quotes from the kids tonight. Zach was particularly "on"

1. Zach: Ethan has to drop the kids off at the pool

-- apparently this means that Ethan has to poop. I had not heard this one before.

2. Zach: Is it true that a man purrs when you shave his back?

--Clearly Zach is watching too much late-night television. We're going to have to monitor that more closely.

3. Zayd: (Belches loudly in the car - followed by groans from the rest of us). Hey! It's not at the dinner table. You only said no burping at the dinner table.

4. At Applebee's tonight, Ethan had to use the bathroom, so Zach took him.

Zach: Well, you're right dad. He dropped trou right away. But I grabbed the back of his pants and yanked 'em back up.

Me: So did he do it right? (please see previous post about Ethan's insistence in dropping his trousers while using public urinals, rather than just lowering the front of his pants slightly)

Zach: He wasn't going to do it right.

Ethan: But I did do it right then! I just took out my penis and peed.

Zach: After I pulled up the back of his pants. But he also has to use both of his hands to hold his shirt up. And he wants his shirt no where near his area... So it is WAY up to his neck.

Me: So how does he do it if his hands are holding his shirt up?

Zach: He aims.

Me: With his hips?

Zach: Yeah.

Ethan: Can we please not talk about my penis right now?

I concurred that talking about his penis was not appropriate dinner conversation.

5. This was in the car

Me: Zach. Come here.

Zach leans forward

Me: Closer.

Zach gets up so I can talk in his ear.

Me: (I whisper) Zach. I think your brother is kinda nervous about middle school. Will you talk to him tonight?

Zach: (In a loud whisper) Uhh... Mom. No offense, but even with me leaning forward like this so you can talk to me in private... I'm pretty sure Evan can hear everything you say.

Evan: What are you saying about me?!

6. Later this evening...Paul got the younger boys the Hannah Montana movie. Since Zach is grounded from time with friends (another story), he eventually succumbed and sat and watched a bit of it with them.

I was on the computer downstairs when "Hannah" and her dad were singing a sad song.

Evan: Oh my God. ANOTHER song! Ahhhh...

Zayd: AHHHHH! HOW many songs do they have to sing!

Ethan: Shhhhhhh!

Zach: Way to go. Way to go guys.

Evan: What?!

Zach: I was almost going to cry. The tears were coming....

Evan: You were going to cry? Really?

Zach: Yes. Yes I was.

Zayd: What the!

Zach: Thanks guys. Thanks for ruining the moment for me.